Marginal Notes

A ceaseless flow of commentary in an attempt to become thoughtful or empty

June 28, 2004

"Mark these words on his grave"

Went to see The Terminal...that Tom Hanks movie. Didn't really want to see it because it looked really retarded but I was forced into submission. I loved it...and let me tell you why. Tom Hanks doesn't get Catherine Zeta Jones in the end. Finally a movie with a realistic ending. He ends up alone. She goes back to being a whore with some married guy and he goes back to some fake slavic country. How great is that? Of course, the very reason why I liked it is the reason why so many other people hated it. The movie ended and I heard many "what the fuck"s. That's the end? Yes...it's the end. That's how real life works. The ugly guy doesn't get the girl. The girl is a cheap flight attendant from god-knows-where. SHE'S TOO HOT TO BE WITH TOM HANKS.

meeh, meh


June 25, 2004

"Slow like honey, heavy with mood"

I spent four hours entering deaths into a computer database today. By 1:30 I couldn't see straight.

I finally got an A/C adapter for my nikon. Be prepared for massive amounts of pictures.

Darkroom tomorrow...

June 23, 2004

"I will lay me down in a bunker underground"

The gray weather put me into a state of melancholia. Or maybe it's all this Camus and pre-socratic philosophy. Anything where the meaning of existance is questioned depresses me. It's impossible to know the meaning of life. There most likely is no meaning anyway. Oh well.

I cleaned the house for the billionth time. Then I went out with some people. Came home and read L'etranger for the fourth time. Lounged.

My new cousin...


That is one fat guatamalan baby.

June 21, 2004

"Out across the flood plane, it'd float until it reached the open sea"

Nothing to do. No where to go. I have nothing to do this week. No volunteering. No class. Sounds like a roadtrip is in order...



June 20, 2004

"It's like pear juice...with the syrup...in the can"

Registration was long but bearable. Self-appointed mantra...lowered expectations make the world go 'round.
But really...at least it's not Richmond. I spilled hot coffee on my hand that morning. But I missed the squirrel on 460. It all evens out. Karma...the great equalizer.

Four hours in the darkroom with a lab assistant breathing down my neck. A solitary digipic of Josh and Kristin. Then those damn alkaline tubes of crap began to die. Damn Nikon and there pathetic attempt to offer a small energy-saving device with high picture quality. I spit in your face.

Good times were had by me with many.
Peace. Love. Bongs.

June 17, 2004

"Touch my monkey!...Now I'm as happy as a little girl"

SNL infomericials rock my world.

I volunteered at GSH today. The atmosphere there is weird. There are volumes and volumes of files just for the dead. Everyday I've been there at least three people have died. My job is to type up their 'discharge' papers and stamp the DOD on their file. The nurses and social workers don't really react which is normal I suppose. They know all their patients will die within six months,anyway. So yeah...I guess you could say I'm volunteering at a death clinic. I knew that death class would come in handy.

I cleaned the whole fucking house today. REALLY CLEANED. You could eat out of the cat litter this place is so clean. My mom wanted the house to be "pristine" so she could have her fucking swingers party. Which reminds me...I need a place to stay tomorrow night. ...I'll figure that out tomorrow. I know I'm going to come home and one of their friends is going to have puked in my bed from all that goddamn vodka and moonshine. Hmm, I suppose I'll fill up on that before I leave them to their orgy. Anyway...

I'll be in Farmville tomorrow for registration. I really don't feel like dealing with that but I guess I have no choice. I'll be back in Roanoke by 5 at the latest. I'm not sticking around for all that "get to know your fellow students" shit. So yeah...someone call me.

That reminds me. I'm like the only single one left. Too many of my friends have found a significant other. Not that it's a bad thing. I'm very happy for them but everytime I see a couple get together I can't help but think, "why would they want that? It's just going to end two weeks...six months...two years down the road". This is the 'prime of our lives', we should be seeing multiple people and having great sex. Of course, those of you with morals might have difficulty with that concept...so disregard the previous statement. But yeah...i guess my point is one person at a time isn't for me. Or maybe it is...I don't know...i'm just doing what feels good. Conceptualization and phrasing seem to be a problem tonight so all you couples... have a good evening...this single girl is calling it a night.

Peace. Love. Pharmacuetical Pot.




June 14, 2004

"Oh my god, wait and see what will soon become of me"

Bonnaroo rocked me like a hurricane. I met some cool people and smoked some good pot. Dave's show was incredible. I want to have his babies. Beside the car wreck on the way down, the night of rain saturday, and the cold I now have from spending the night in a wet sleeping bag, I LOVED Bonnaroo. I'm so going back next year except I'll probably get an RV with a few people.

This week is going to be busy for me so if I don't see or talk to any of you let me say in advance, "it's not you, it's me".

Now, time for advil and hot tea.


June 08, 2004

"Reading is the opposite of a dog eating dear meat"*

So I wake up this morning, go downstairs, and fix my coffee in my least favorite mug(my dads hunting mug). I really need to do the dishes. I turn on the news and see Katie Couric interveiwing O.J. Simpson. It never ceases to amaze me. Then I hear that Reagan may replace Hamilton on the ten dollar bill. What the hell? What...the...hell? Has the entire free world gone stupid? Oh wait...no...just America.

I finally got to develop film last night. Mmm, 20 people crammed into a 10 by 15 darkroom. I let the guy next to me borrow my scissors several times. That was fun. Passing a sharp object in the dark always makes for an interesting scenario. I almost impaled him but that's okay because he passed the scissors so low a couple of times I thought he was trying to give me a c-section. My negatives came out better than I thought they would. There's a really good one of Miss Mary and her violin.
I wasn't expecting the smell of the chemicals. I thought it would smell more like...chemicals. Instead, it smelled like urine and chicken noodle soup. Interesting.

Leaving for Bonnaroo tomorrow. Very very very excited. I hope we have good weather but if we don't I'm bringing my bathing suit and a poncho. Yeehaw.

I went to Happy Hollow at 9:30 yesterday morning. It was really foggy and wet. I was the only one there. I stayed for about an hour walking around. Only now do I see how stupid that was. I don't care. I'll do it again.

*Something my dad said to his A.P. History class. Why? I have no idea.





June 04, 2004

"People will screw you, they just want to use you"

I have an appointment with my lawyer Tuesday to "set the ball of retribution rolling". I feel bad about taking someone to court. I feel like one of those ignorant rednecks on Judge Judy trying to milk the defense out of everything they have. But then I remind myself I'm not suing her, I'm suing her insurance company...and she did hit me with a truck. Someone needs to pay.

I saw Harry Potter and way too many people I know last night.

minor EPIPHANY
Yes, people will screw you. They will lie, cheat, and use you. They will act like they care about you when in reality they don't give a shit...
Bottom line: So what?

Last year my expectations kicked my ass. Example: VCU. Example: Relationships. As long as I expect school to be a shithole and expect my relationships to be superficial or purely sexual, then I can't be disappointed. I can only be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not a masochist or a pessimist. I'm a realist and I'm happy.

On that note...I'm off to take a shower and then go to lunch with skwak and nas. Peace. Love. Szechuan.