Marginal Notes

A ceaseless flow of commentary in an attempt to become thoughtful or empty

April 28, 2004

Okay, kids. This little period of decadence is over. I’m doing the whole minimalist thing, again. My overindulgence is chipping away at my character and while I’ve always been a bit off balance I can see that I’m definitely tipping in the wrong direction. So…

1. No more alcohol.
2. No more sugar
3. No more salt
4. No more beef/chicken
5. No more dairy.
6. No more television.
7. No more sex.
8. No more coffee.
9. No more prescription drugs.
10. No more cigarettes

All of you who love to tempt me…give me a break.

On a lighter note…anyone want to go on a road trip to Oberlin in May? I want to see Miss Stephanie. I need her bohemian influence to start my summer off. Plus, I want to make a movie there. Anyone, anyone?

April 25, 2004

Me and my 424

Woke up at 6 am to the sounds of my parents’ morning activity. Realized my cat was fucked up. Took him to the vet. They told me he got his ass kicked by another cat because he had puncture wounds in his neck and leg. Went home and cleaned the house. Baked my own birthday cake. My parents were doing their own thing. “Family party” ensued. Kristin joined the awkward celebration. “Yay, Caitlin’s still alive” Both parents already plastered by the time I blew my candles out. I watched as my dad started setting random things on fire. One of them being the figures I had put on my cake. Embarrassing. Went over to Patrick’s. He kindly assisted me in getting tipsy but not gone. Kristin was made dd as retribution for macrock. Mwuahahahaah. Patrick sent me off with a healthy amount of vodka. Yay Patrick myfavorite. And now I’m off to finish my birthday celebration drinking citron vodka alone. And so it goes.

April 22, 2004

I found a job. VCU decided 90 degrees was hot enough to turn the A.C. back on. I’m healthy. I’ve immersed myself in great literature. The weather is lovely. Skwak has put her wonderful art and my poetry together in the form of a zine (thankyouverymuch). I might not be going to Bonnaroo by myself after all. I just finished making another movie. I’m going home this weekend.

How’s that for positive?

Ahem, Cole.

April 14, 2004

I don’t normally do this.

The past 24 hours have been a slap in the face. Apparently, I’m the biggest loser ever. Apparently, I was wrong in thinking I would feel welcome at certain events. HELLO! Do you people realize how much of your bullshit I put up with? All of you. Everyone who reads this stupid, piece-of-shit confessional is guilty. I go out of my way to help you or make you feel better when you’re being manipulated or emotionally abused. I keep your fucking secrets. And now I find I’m being used. “Aww, Caitlin’s having a rough year. We should make her feel safe and loved and then rip the rug out from under her”. All you people care about is your own little world of drinking and fucking and smoking up.

Here's a poem. It's the last thing you will ever get from me…

Trust is a myth.
Love is a lie.
I hope you all rot in hell
But not before I die.